Patience is not my best trait

I am not a patient person by design. I have always had a good deal of patience when it comes to my children but when it comes to things I want or think that God might want for me – not so much. Maybe none of us are patient by design but being patient is one area of my life that I have got to learn to hand fully over to God. And over the last few years God has given me plenty of opportunity to hand it over and try to learn. I now understand that patience while waiting on God’s perfect timing develops strength. I have to trust Him more than myself. I learn that every time I wish for the waiting to end, I should stop and pray. Give God just a few moments of me and it helps me focus on being fully dependent on Him. I have learned that God’s timing is perfect, mine is not. God’s perfect timing has a reason and sometimes I just need to wait out what I think is His will for me for the perfect time for the plan to come together. I have learned that sometimes I have to be patient and wait for Him because He needs time to show me that what I am wanting or wishing for isn’t the right thing or part of His will.

Right now, I feel like I am in a time of pause. I need to wait and be patient. There might be some big things on our horizon and if it is meant to be then I need to let it go and Let God take care of it. In the meantime that means a lot of hurry up and wait. Be patient. Ugh! Not the easiest thing for me to do. So…here I vent and spout and probably make no sense at all. That is OK. I am learning that blogging needs to not be about me or the possible 2 or 3 people who might read. I need it to be about Him, all the time…..So Lord I am trying to wait, listen for your calling and be patient. Thank you for grace while I wait.

I am here, just waiting and being patient. If you too are in a time of waiting and testing of your patience I would love to hear about it. How do you wait? How patient are you? Is it easy for you to be patient or are you like me and want to just shove everyone else out of the way and get it taken care of?

An Audience of One

I really want to be a good blogger. I don’t know why. I’m drawn to it, I’ve been working at this for years now in fits and spurts. I do well for awhile but then I give up because I know I have no audience. Recently it was a topic on other blogs I frequent would bloggers keep blogging if they knew know one was reading. And the resounding answer was yes. They would keep doing it if it helped even one person. Changed their life somehow and made a difference. Just one person would be enough because you never know who that one person could be or how their life might go a different day if you didn’t have a message for them on the very day they needed it most.

This got me to thinking about the One who always has a message for me. Some days I need it more than others. Some days I honestly don’t want to hear the message being sent.  However but know that I must keep my ears and my heart open and be willing to respond to what I hear. Can you image if we went to the Throne one day and God said…. “Sorry. I got nothin’ today! Maybe try again tomorrow, or next week, or in a month. Actually it might be more like 6 months before I get around to having anything worthwhile to say.”
I know for me I would be devastated, dumbstruck and speechless. I would not know where to turn or what to do next. I doubt I will never have that kind of an impact in the Blogosphere but since I am still drawn to blogging I am going to try to be OK with an audience of One. Maybe that One is the One who I go to when I need a message the most.

So thank you my blog readers, if you are out there. And if not, then that is OK too. Thank you Lord for this computer to type on, these hands that still work and the brain that can string a bunch of sentences together into something that might halfway make a little bit of sense.

Hugs and Love
Jen