This morning it
occured to me…the Holy Spirit spoke to me. He let me know a little bit of what he has been doing. Why He has been doing all of the wrecking of my heart and the tears for what I thought were no reason and all of the pain and questions of why why why. Today He let me in on His little secret. He is emptying me so that He can fill me back up. He is making me less and less caring of myself and more and more aware of others. Children in poor countries, Women and Men of faith who show them to me. I am seeing that the pain and tears and hurt that I’m feeling aren’t for me or because of my circumstances. It is for them. The lost, the lonely, the sad, the hurt. It’s for my friends who are going through tough times as the man of the family learns a new life from the seat of a wheelchair. The words of a friend whose heart is burdened by the troubled marriages around her. I see this pain and I am taking it all in, making it a part of my world so that I can SEE it and instead of sitting on the side watching it go by, it moves me to action.
I have a feeling this is only the beginning of this being wrecked part. And that is OK. A while back, I don’t remember when exactly, but I asked God to change my heart. Help me be more like Him. Help me be the woman He created for me to be when He knit me in my mothers womb. I see now that is exactly what He is doing. This fall I asked Him to speak to me as I was working through Priscilla Shirer’s Discerning the Voice of God bible study. This winter He gave me a life situation that I cannot imagine happening to my family but I am a part of and am so blessed because of it. God is speaking to me loud and clear. He is wrecking me to fill me up with Him. The only thing I can think to say is Thank You. You are giving me exactly what I want, even though it is hard. Thank you for having so much faith in me.
This morning it