Flittering About

That pretty much sums up my entire life in some ways. Trying this, trying that. Going here or there. Believing this new things or that new fad. New age, old age, my age, any age. Not being grounded but wishing I was. Being grounded in some kind of belief but not really feeling like grounded was good. Years and years went by. I changed jobs, towns, even husbands. But I still always felt like I was flapping in the wind, kind of out of control even though everything seemed under control. In my heart of hearts I always knew……He was waiting for me.

To come home, back to His loving arms. Waiting for me where I had left Him, so many years ago.

Thank you Lord for being so forgiving and patient. I do not deserve that kind of mercy after so many years of disobedience. Thank you for making me with a God Shaped Hole in my heart, that only you could fill. Thank you for letting me figure it out even though I was so slow to do so.

I am more grounded then I’ve ever been in my life. I love the peace and calm I finally feel. I know that I don’t want to flit about anymore and I’ll work hard everyday to dig in and learn Your ways. Your word. Your truth. And I know that when I’m beginning to feel out of control, flapping in the wind that you are right there beside me. Always keeping a firm grip on me…my flittering days are over.

Blessing for the day

I have not been so good about coming back here and listing my blessings each day but I am trying to keep track of them more often. I was just sweeping my floors and realized that I am so very blessed that my children have a father who wants to go to school with them in the morning, sit with them while they eat breakfast and play a little before the first bell of the day rings. Then, when it’s lunchtime he wants to surprise them with his company, hang out with them and their friends in the loud, crowded gym that doubles as a Cafe, watch them during lunch recess play with their friends and spend time talking to their fellow students.
My husband will soon be leaving for a work related trip and it makes my heart sing to see that he wants to spend as much time with his kids as he can. Even if it’s something as small as hanging out with them during lunchtime. That is such a blessing.

Before I became a Christian

I am wrestling with some hard issues now and just need to get my thoughts and feelings out somewhere. And maybe here, they will help someone else wrestling with the same or similar issues.
Before I became a Christian, I didn’t think much about the harm or helpfulness of most holidays. They were mostly created to give children or adults a reason to party, or greeting card companies and the like a reason to market and sell a ton of unneeded, useless products. I bought into these holidays and for some embraced them with vigor and created family traditions with my children around them.

But now that I am looking at life through God Shaped glasses I am wondering what is the best way to get my children and myself out of the World View mindset. Is it to be big & bold and just pull the plug and explain it in biblical terms quoting scripture and God’s Word? Or since the kids are still so young might it be better to slowly start to pull away from one, and then another all the while focusing on the holidays that are Christian based and putting the emphasis on CHRIST in them? Of course the latter seems the obvious choice but I somehow wonder if I am spiritually equipped to do it. I guess if God is leading me to it, then he has equipped me for it and will lead me through it.

There is a rather big, but somewhat disturbing holiday approaching. It didn’t used to be disturbing to me. In fact, I have some wonderful childhood memories about neighborhood parties, haunted houses in our garage and my dad’s creativeness at coming up with new costumes each year. But this year I am bothered by the idea of my kids celebrating a holiday that seems to be focusing more and more on death, zombies, ghouls and the like. I don’t have a problem really with the carving of pumpkins, I rather like the seeds if I tell the truth. I don’t mind the passing out of candy although I’m a bit worried if it’s been tainted, poisoned or messed with. I don’t mind the costumes that are cute, funny or creative. It guess it’s the blood, guts, evil-one themed parts of Halloween I have had enough of.

My church this year will be offering Trunk or Treat. I think that’s a good idea, but just wonder if it sends kids a mixed signal? I really don’t know. I do know that I need to pray over this, ask some of the more spiritual mature ladies that I trust their feelings on it and seek out some scripture. Am I worrying about something that really isn’t a big deal or is that Satan having a way with my brain that is so used to thinking about life from a World View. All good questions. All hard questions. But one of the things I’ve learned this week during my bible study is to be watchful of the tough choices. Listen for the challenges. That is God speaking to you and if you want to hear Him clearly and more often then you need to listen at all times.

Counting my blessings

Sometimes it is hard to see the good, abundant blessings that the Lord provides when you are in the midst of trials, hardships or dry seasons. I don’t feel that this is the driest season of my life, but I also don’t feel like it’s a huge growing season for me either. I think that maybe I am somewhere in between these seasons and God is using this time to prep me for what is coming next. I hope that what ever it is, the season will be something that will draw me closer to Him and that I will be used in a way that shows Him to those who don’t know Him.
What ever is coming, I am trying to reflect less on me, and more on Him. And all of the small ways and things he is doing in my life. The blessings in my life may seem small but they are really rather huge. Take for instance the wonderful coupon deals I was able to score last month, and the freezer and pantry full of food that I have to chose from at the moment. Take the offer to go pick apples at a new friends house that has led to me having over 20 cups of now peeled, cored and chopped apples in my freezer, 1 large batch of applesauce in my fridge and more apples left to decide what to do with. Sure, it took hours to prep that many apples to cook or freeze, but will be well worth it in the coming months when I can pull out a bag of apples and make a desert to share with my family or someone else’s.
Take the Payless Shoe Store gift cards that we received to help purchase new boots for both of my children so that they may have warm, dry feet this winter. Take the blessing of a huge bag of clothes from a fellow parent at the school for my son. Sure, some of them may be too big for him right now, but he will grow into them and that will help us down the road. Or the fact that my daughter has friends that can come and help celebrate her birthday with her this weekend.
Most of this is stuff that I would have normally taken for granted. But now, I am trying to be More Than a Good Bible Study Girl, I am trying to Discern The Voice of God, I am trying to not only see His Will, but see Him.
Maybe I need to post each and every blessing I see in my life for the next month. Then I could really look back and see how much He is here, doing life with me.
Hmmm….actually, that is a really good idea!

So, what kind of blessings do you see in your life right now?